Well, dear readers, my protracted absence has been due to the aforementioned lemons. Things have changed mighty quick for me and turned my life upside down, which is both terrifying and oddly exhilarating. I am now officially off the map, in totally uncharted territory, but I realised something the other day.
I suspect that a great many of us have a secret fear. You know, those ingrained beliefs that if 'X' happened you'd never get over it/survive/be happy again. They aren't the sort of monsters we usually talk about or even acknowledge to ourselves, except in times of deep misery, but they're always there, somewhere, in the back of our minds. Sometimes they can be useful, making us try harder at things and urging us not to give up, but mostly they just lurk around providing us with random moments of happiness-squashing terror. So a few days ago I was walking home after having to deal with a fresh set of obstacles in the path of my new life when it suddenly struck me that the two things which had been my own personal life-long fears had happened to me. And the sky hadn't fallen. This was a very important discovery. Not only had I survived, but I no longer had to worry about these twin monsters and give them space in my frankly overcrowded brain.
I'm hoping this is just the first of a whole lot of perception altering revelations but even if it isn't I'm incredibly grateful for this particular one!
Awesome perspective!, even if the terror is still there in the corners. Yes, revelations feel like a gift. But they also feel like a taking back of some control. Yay!, yes. PS I like lemon cupcakes.
ReplyDeletefran! you are a rock star. they always come out on top :)
ReplyDeletehugs!
Thank you Sarah, special virtual cupcakes heading your way!
ReplyDelete♥ Tami ♥
ok so now i recognize the lemon. i'm cheering you on! pom poms and all! you will soar x
ReplyDeleteyou are an amazing person. really. truly. love you
ReplyDeleteYou walked right into the gaping jaws of the beast and rather than be devoured you found smoke & mirrors behind you ... and are stronger, resolved, and embarking on a whole new ride unavailbale to the "old" you
ReplyDeletexo kD